“Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.”
–Marilu Henner
In the spirit of welcoming the Fall season and letting go, I have been reminded of the value of reassessing the importance of releasing expectations. I have been working with about 120 new students this week, welcoming them as they prepare to embark on their new journey of learning and embodying natural medicine.
Naturally, every one has their own idea of what they want out of school and what to expect. I’ve observed how this fuels excitement, but in a lot of cases it has also contributed to restless nights of losing sleep with worries and anxieties for them that slowly come out with questions like “How am I going to survive this?”, “Am I ever going to be able to pay back my loans?!”, “Should I take all or none of the electives?” or “Am I going to make any real friends?”…. Being in this role 2 years ago, I was right there with the best of the worriers. It seemed like the only thing that could ease those thoughts was to just live through the experience, but yikes, in the meantime, that is a lot of sleepless nights and unsettled thoughts!
It’s part of life to anticipate and get excited about a new opportunity, including one that entails quite a leap of faith like starting Naturopathic or Chinese Medicine school. There are many choices we make and many situations we find ourselves in that make it feel inevitable not to have expectations, and that is OK. Realistic expectations are healthy. This can often end up with us being pleased that our expectations were met. Unfortunately, there is another end to the spectrum, and if our expectations are not met, our reality can be shattered, preventing us from forward movement whether it’s temporary or long-term.
Releasing some expectations is a practice in self-cultivation that needs to be revisited throughout our lives. It is quite an accomplishment to follow where our intuition leads us, and building trust in our choices can help to ease the amount of expectations we put on ourselves and others. With trust, we know things will work out the way our life is meant to be. It’s easier to let go of how we “wish” things to turn out, and instead go with the flow.
Another perspective: There are also situations that are out of our control like an emergency, a shift in plans, a delayed flight, or a “talk” that needs to happen with a friend or loved one. We can easily jump to conclusions in our head and replay the worst case scenarios over and over again in our minds. Yes, it’s possible this can happen, but how often are we really and truly right when it comes to these kinds of expectations? Don’t we generally live to tell the tale? We tend to build up unhealthy expectations that end up harming our bodies with stress, worry, irritability, loss of sleep, and heightened blood pressure to name a few… just to realize that most of the time, it’s really not that bad if it’s bad at all. I think Maya Angelou was onto something when she said “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”
Is this something you can relate to? What kind of role do expectations play in your life? Do you have a lot? Do you have none at all? What helps you release them? Why is it so hard to go with the flow sometimes? Where within us is this unrest stemming from? We’re often able to set expectations in order to push through a challenge, but where do we draw the line? When do they become unhealthy? What can ultimately bring us back to a place of peace and acceptance?
Thanks for your thoughts and inspiration… remember to breathe and be well! 
